Can you remember the last time you asked anyone any of the following questions:

“JESSSSSUS, you are heinous, someone wants to go out with you?? But why?”

“You mean to tell me that someone really believed they couldn’t get better so settled for you?

“Frankly I am amazed, I thought someone like you would definitely die alone.  How did you manage to meet anyone?”

Why are you single...?!

Why are you single…?!

Could you imagine saying something so rude to anyone?  I certainly can’t. And yet there is not a day that goes by when I am not asked – Why are you single?  Usually asked by a complete smug married toss pot.

So how do you answer such questions?  You’ve first got to identify your route.

  1. Are you going to be a man hating raging feminist who doesn’t need, nor want, a man?
  2. A despondent singleton who starts weeping, drops to her knees and wails WHYYYY ME?
  3. A busy woman of business who doesn’t have the time for a boyfriend?
  4. A cat lady?
  5. Hung up on your ex nutter?
  6. A no strings needed go-er?
  7. or, and this is a risky route, just meet the question with a death stare and silence.
Man hater...? No

Man hater…? No

See the thing is, for me it I can’t just answer this question with just a sentence.  On a typical day it a conglomateration of the following:



While all of the above are true – Mainly I just think I haven’t found someone who is my equal.  My friend, my support network and my bit of tottie, on the inside and out.  Someone who I can love and make jam on toast for, and someone who will do the same for me, but substitute the jam for marmite.  Someone who is man enough to tell me I don’t need another handbag but love and support me when I buy it anyway, then complain for the rest of the month how poor I am.

There are no simple answers to this question.  Anyone can have a boyfriend, but not everyone has a life mate.  I just have to smile and say- “I just don’t know, you tell me.”  And they usually do…!

16 Responses to “Annnnd why are you single?”

  1. Hannah says:

    I love this post. I am forever getting asked why I’m single!
    If I had a £1 every time I’ve been told at a wedding “Oh don’t worry dear you’ll find someone” I’d have enough money to BUY a human and make them be my boyfriend.

    Think I might settle for cat lady.


  2. I never really ask that question. perhaps I am just too well-mannered to do that as I don’t b elieve ever feeling the need to be judgy about someone being single. I think it’s incredibly low of someone to interfere in such a way. But I have learned my lesson. Whenever someone asks me something personal I prefer not to answer I just answer like a celebrity would do: I don’t like discussing my personal life, sorry. It works wonders every time trust me! :)

  3. Love this post – and I can completely relate to yourself. I also want someone who is compatible with me, and who I’m attracted to.
    The “why are you single,” question is the worst question ever and I normally tackle it with a shrug of the shoulders and just say that I’m going with the flow. I’ve found it to be my least awkward reply to date :) .

  4. Whenever you are asked that question you should turn it around and ask them why they think you are single. It will either give you a good bit of insight or make the person feel super uncomfortable and never ask you again. Win – Win.

  5. charlypriest says:

    Don´t be a man hatter…you´ll miss out on me.

    And no I would never say that to a girl,and you know why? Because I probably want to sleep with her and the last thing I want to do is bring up that subject, and if they have a boyfriend or husband I don´t want to ask them nor want to know as long as I get a cozy bed for some nights….I´m a bad guy.

    By the way, once in a while is good to let love in, it will hurt you at the end when it is finished, but it´s definately one of the best experiences I had. And the worst part I´m 31 and this just happened once. Now I´ve become a bit more calous and try to nail everything that is not stuck into the wood. Which is not fulfilling by the way.

  6. sneezypb says:

    My personality” still seems like a really appropriate response.

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