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26. 03. 2014

blog trolling

I’ve recently helped write two articles about trolling and thought you would like to hear what I said.

As a child I was surrounded by trolls.  Thankfully not trolling.  Anyway, going back to my childhood, I could not get enough of trolls.  I loved their hair, their colours, their fashion. I also used to collect smelly soaps but let’s perhaps pick this up at a later date.  Cut to twenty odd years later, I am still surrounded by trolls, just trolls of a different kind.  These trolls aren’t harmless.

Every single time I write a post I know what I am going to receive some kind of correspondence, if you can call it that, from people who plain and simple find the need to tell me that they do not like my face, or my writing, or my body, or sometimes they just kindly tell me they don’t like me in general.  

Some days I may strike lucky and only get one email telling me I am ugly from the trolls.  Sometimes I may get up to 20.   20 trolling emails.   They range in length, severity, grammatical ability ( it’s “you’re fucking ugly, not your fucking ugly FYI) but the type of person who sends these emails to me remain unfortunately the same.  

My experience with trolling- They are all from women.

They tell me I’m single because I’m ugly.  That I can’t expect to meet anyone as I am hideous, or I look like a man, or look like a slut, or I look boring. Sometimes they tell me I am single because I’m a feminist. Or I’m single because I’m fat.   Sometimes they criticise my humour.  Anything is fair game.

Trolls

I get that sometimes I say things that might cause a few raised eyebrows, or at times may seem overly critical, but I have never opened myself up with this blog and made out I was hot.   Jesus I know I am no great shakes.  I’m a 6 tops on a good day at that!

For me, writing over the last 6 months the trolling did seem never-ending. I can’t say some comments haven’t stung. Yes there have been tears!  I have talked about it with my nearest and dearest and their reaction has ranged from shock, to you must stop writing this blog, to upset. A few months ago, as my blog got bigger, I began to not be able to switch off from it. I stopped loving and even focussing on the nice things and instead got a bubble of fear every time I saw a new email on my blog.  My heart would sink.  How ugly was I going to be today?  What would they say about my face now?  

Talking about it now the most common question I get asked is – Has the trolling changed you as a person?  Yes.   I think anyone who gets up to 20 emails saying they are cray cray crazy ugly would get a wobble of self loathing. I’m now trying to fix the ugly things people have said about me. I spend a crazy amount on makeup.  I am more aware of how I look, how to take an ok picture, how my face looks.  I do worry when I meet new men they will see the uglyness in me, like the trolls have said.  

But I also, in time, gained some perspective about the whole thing.  I’m not all bad. I’m not a supermodel- but I’m not pretending to be. I may not cause instant “come in your pants hotness” for the vast majority of men but because of this I’ve had to work hard on my personality, and that generally gets guys wanting to see me again.  Dating wise, second dates do happen for me.  So do third dates.  And occasionally, so do fourth.  Sometimes men tell me I am beautiful not only to sleep with me.  The trolls would be shocked at this.

Social media trollingP.S today I feel quite calm about the trolling. Ask me tomorrow and I just might cry on your shoulder.  Have you had any experience with trolling?  Let me know.

 

 

 

Advice if you are being trolled

-Do not engage in conversation with them

-Recognise that they are probably not happy in themselves and feel the need to criticise others

-Tell someone in the real life.  Don’t bottle it in.  A problem or troll shared is a problem halved!

-Have times when you switch off from your blog, twitter, facebook etc and focus on real life

-Block them.  You simply do not need to read it.

-Carry on doing what you love and focus on the readers who love you, love when they get a notification saying you have a new post out, and leave pleasant comments. Write down, and favourite the nice things.  And remember- tomorrow is another day.

13 Responses to “Trolling is rife”

  1. Gender Envoy says:

    Trolls only attack successful blogs. Successful people with happy lives don’t troll. Just block em and delete their spew.

    • Laurie says:

      Thank you for your comment!! Enjoying your blog too! It is stopping me going for a run! so thanks for that! wooo! x

  2. Hrynne says:

    Bloody hell! Well I for one think you are fab, hilarious and gorgeous…love your blog xx

  3. Helen says:

    I’m honestly shocked by this- clearly I’m incredibly naive! 1) that they’re women (TERRIBLE girl code) and 2) genuinely that they say this to you. I think you’re fab and gorgeous and I love your writing/humour (Infact, I missed you coming up on my WordPress reader so much that I did a little google hunting to find where you had gone!) It’s easy to tell you to not pay attention but just try to remember how sad these people are and clearly lacking something in their own lives. Xxx

    • Laurie says:

      I dont think you are naive- I was surprised too. I just hoped and thought that us ladies would stick together. Thank you for having a google for me. You can always sign up to get an email update- that wayI might waste a bit of time for you when you are at work. Speak soon x

  4. Maddy says:

    Hello! Mid-term reader, first time commenter here. Internet trolls are plain and simply totes cra cra little biatches!!! Don’t even want to acknowledge those nutjobs any more than that. LOVE your blog, you are ace and for the love of god please don’t stop doing what you’re doing.
    Peace out
    Maddy

    • Laurie says:

      Thank you so much for your comment. So pleased that you have commented and hope to hear from you soon! Laurie x

  5. I can’t believe you are on the end of all these horrible comments! I’ll never understand why trolls feel the need to be such bastards!

    I’ve never had any experience with them through my blog, but have online in the past. I was younger and at 14 being allied fat was a right kick in the teeth, especially when I believed I was anyway!

    I love that you talk about this as I find a lot of people don’t, and nobody should suffer in silence as it were.

    If you ever need to vent about these awful people, give me a bell. Stay strong lovely, your blog is one of my favourites and never fails to make me laugh! You have a really great personality and humour! Your a stunner too!

    Beth
    xxxxx

    • Laurie says:

      Beth thank you so much! I had no idea you read my blog! I love yours. Thanks so much.

      Writing the post was a bit weird – I was worried it was going to open me up to so much more abuse, but actually everyone, including you has been so lovely! How lovely is the blogging world! Everyone is sooooo nice.

      Now can you stop reviewing so much amazing stuff- your reviews are making me BROKE. I am spending so much money on makeup at the minute- still atleast I look fab. Or not according to the trolls! xx

  6. Kara says:

    Hey There,

    I recently stumbled across your blog and think your honestly AWESOME and you think exactly how I think and it made me sad to read this entry about the haters.

    Don’t listen to them, seriously, fuck the haters and trolls and mean people continue to eat your cereal for dinner (like I also do! I feel its pointless to cook for just myself EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.. bore!) and remember your amazeballs!

    Big love xxx

    • Laurie says:

      Thank you so much lovely! What a super cute thing to say. I am so glad you stumbled on my blog and hope to hear from you again soon x

  7. Man, people are cruel! I’ve heard talk about trolling before but am not clever and popular enough to have experienced the delight myself.

    I have to say you are wrong – you are totally hot! Don’t let the trolls rob you by making you hide it. I hate that virtually no women feel able to say that they think that they are IT. Not in an arrogant way, but just in a confident, happy-with-yourself kind of way. Our beauty is in our diversity, not in how successfully cloned from one set of genes we look. Every woman should be able to say she’s a 10. And the more women who own their hotness, and say it, the more it gives others the permission to do the same.

    eg. I think I’m great shakes too. :D
    (Not everyone has to agree, but I think it)

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