Can you remember the last time you asked anyone any of the following questions:
“JESSSSSUS, you are heinous, someone wants to go out with you?? But why?”
“You mean to tell me that someone really believed they couldn’t get better so settled for you?
“Frankly I am amazed, I thought someone like you would definitely die alone. How did you manage to meet anyone?”
Could you imagine saying something so rude to anyone? I certainly can’t. And yet there is not a day that goes by when I am not asked – Why are you single? Usually asked by a complete smug married toss pot.
So how do you answer such questions? You’ve first got to identify your route.
- Are you going to be a man hating raging feminist who doesn’t need, nor want, a man?
- A despondent singleton who starts weeping, drops to her knees and wails WHYYYY ME?
- A busy woman of business who doesn’t have the time for a boyfriend?
- A cat lady?
- Hung up on your ex nutter?
- A no strings needed go-er?
- or, and this is a risky route, just meet the question with a death stare and silence.
See the thing is, for me it I can’t just answer this question with just a sentence. On a typical day it a conglomateration of the following:
- My standards are, to many ridiculously high/ unachievable
- I don’t settle. If I don’t think it will be love, I am not interested
- I am, in a way, scared, for want of a better word, to let love in and for my life to change, from what I know and love now.
- I’m jaded by most men- My dad and brother remain my heroes. Other men pale in comparison to them
- I have already dated everyone that I fancy at the gym.
- I date the same kind of man every time and grow bored quickly
- I get in there first- I am the dumper, not the dumpee
- I am a glass half empty kind of girl in love for things that happen to me – Always believing the worst, not accepting compliments and affection early on from others.
- I play games – 3 day rule and all of that.
While all of the above are true – Mainly I just think I haven’t found someone who is my equal. My friend, my support network and my bit of tottie, on the inside and out. Someone who I can love and make jam on toast for, and someone who will do the same for me, but substitute the jam for marmite. Someone who is man enough to tell me I don’t need another handbag but love and support me when I buy it anyway, then complain for the rest of the month how poor I am.
There are no simple answers to this question. Anyone can have a boyfriend, but not everyone has a life mate. I just have to smile and say- “I just don’t know, you tell me.” And they usually do…!